28th July 2023

This past month, I’ve had a flurry of clients achieving physical events they didn’t think would be possible. Ever.

They were blocked by limiting beliefs, and that’s the topic for the health tip this week.

My parenting musings ponder co-regulation. Co-regulation happens with everyone we meet.

You’ve had the cheery cashier at *insert your supermarket here* who brightened your otherwise mundane day… I’ll elaborate at point 2.

Health tip

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” – Socrates

Limiting beliefs are exactly that…limiting.

Often for no reason other than we tell ourselves something isn’t possible.

There is a reason why they say, “never meet your heroes”…

We build them up to be these extraordinary beings, with a magical aura and in reality, they’re just like you and I.

Here’s one trait they all share… whether they believe they can do something or not, they don’t accept the belief until they’ve tested it with 100% effort.

There are 3 types of limiting beliefs. Let’s run through them.

LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF

You can’t do something because there is something inherently wrong with you.

“I’ve haven’t got enough discipline or willpower. What ever would people think of me if I started doing these things?!”

Good news. Other people are not you. They don’t suffer or enjoy the consequences of the decisions you make.

LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT THE WORLD

You can’t do something because it’s just not the way the world works.

“This is how things should be done, this is how everyone I know does things..”

Does it have to be done that way? Innovation happens through doing things differently…

LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT LIFE

You can’t do something because it’s too difficult.

“I’m too old to make any drastic changes, I’ve missed the boat..”

Age is just a number. Ray Kroc start the McDonald’s expansion aged 51.

So, how do you overcome these limiting beliefs?

1. Identify them. Get a piece of paper and scribble down EVERYTHING that is holding you back from your goal. Start with health, but it can be for his about anything. If someone else in the world is doing it, chances are you can do it, too.

2. Question them. For each one, ask yourself, what if my limiting belief is wrong? What would an alternative option look like? What would it take to do that? How is this belief serving me? We hold on to limiting beliefs to stop us from trying and protect us from failure.

3. Create an alternative belief and behave like you can do this! It might work, it might not. But you won’t know unless you try.

4. Test your alternative beliefs.

Parenting quote that got me thinking

“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos” - L.R. Knost

Co-regulation is when two people work together to regulate their emotions and behaviors.

Picture the scene…

I’m rushing and trying to get Beau (2.5yo) somewhere.

I’m rushing because I’m late. I didn’t allow enough time. Chaos ensues. Who does Beau look to for calm, safety and security?

Me.

How does Beau start to feel when I talk quickly, I’m abrupt, I move faster and try to rush him?

SO,

I’m allowing more time when leaving the house (most of the time). I Avoid rushing around the shops barking ‘no’ at everything he touches. I accept a walk may take a little longer. It’s a great opportunity to talk about the little things and learn.

If Beau is having a meltdown and I come in stressed, it helps no-one. He is dysregulated, I’m dysregulated, there’s more chance of peace in an episode of Tom & Jerry.

If Beau is going through a tough time, how I react will escalate or de-escalate the situation.

I know Beau is modelling the world from me.

How do I know? He does press-ups, squats and eat apples for fun. He offers me hi-5’s and (more recently) chest bumps to celebrate.

I want Beau to take deep breaths when he’s stressed. I want Beau to know it’s ok to be overwhelmed and experience emotions. 

To know that you can feel these things and find ways to reclaim calm.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but I’m working on it…50% hit rate!

This week’s dad joke

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose! 

Thanks for reading!

Chris

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