21st July 2023

I’m really getting into these newsletters. They’re fun to write and I appreciate you reading!

This is a longer one, it’ll take around 5 minutes to read. If you’ve got feedback on the length or format, shoot me a reply. We are creating a community of dads and this is a key part of it.

This week’s health tip is a practical one. Always dropping off your health and fitness plans? This one’s for you.

The parenting quote is a question this week. One I’ve thought about a lot. It’s made me VERY uncomfortable, but the outcome? 

Well, I share the moment Beau and I had, making it more than worthwhile.

The dad joke. Up there with the best. Love a good dad joke. Send me your best one!

Ready? Let’s get into it.

Health tip

We all know what to do to drop weight or fat.

Move more, eat less.

There are easier and harder ways of doing this. A diet with high volume, lower calorie foods will make your journey multiple times easier.

For the most part, it’s not a knowledge gap, it’s a doing gap.

The way to support this?

Get an accountability community or partner.

A meta analysis of 18 studies, concluded an accountability partner increases the chance of losing weight by 2.2x.

What to consider when choosing your accountability community or partner?

1. Get someone who is supportive and encouraging. You’re a fully grown man - A DAD. You don’t need playground bullying / military style remarks because you missed a workout or ate a cupcake.

2. Find a community, or person with similar goals. You’ll share experiences, what’s working and what’s not.

3. Set clear expectations and goals. Here’s an insider tip, losing between 0.5% and 1.5% of bodyweight per week is ideal.

4. Prioritise your goal and communicate regularly. This keeps your head in the game and the goals front and center.

Need to find a community or partner?

1. Speak to friends or family members who may want to go on the same journey as you. Be tactful. Lead with you first, and let them know you’re looking for someone to join you on your mission possible!

2. Find a community with the same goal as you. This is of course where I plug The Father Fit Community. If you’re interested in seeing what’s inside, I’ve made a run through video here. Goals in the community aren’t JUST fat loss, they encompass 360 health too.

3. Get professional help. If the professional has experience, they will preempt bumps along the journey and generally make it a damn sight easier.

Parenting quote that got me thinking

“Are you trying to control or influence your little one?”

I invite you to think about any manager you’ve had in the past. If they’re great, why? If they’re terrible, why?

Thought about it?

Why is this different when it’s us parenting our kids?

I don’t think it is.

As parents, we need to provide structure, guidance and a suitable level of autonomy.  Like a good manager.

Do we need to micromanage and control everything…like a bad manager?

Micromanaging is a recipe to sap intrinsic motivation.

The times I’ve had a great manager…I’ve had endless drive to do a good job.

Human psychology is universal. If you’re 2 years old, 22 years old or 50 years old, the principles hold true.

If we feel controlled, we feel resentful to the controller and intrinsic motivation falls off a cliff.

Influencing over controlling isn’t easy. It takes patience, compassion and a lot of deep breaths! Focusing on sleep, good nutritional choices and exercise helps me manage my emotions.

I’m choosing the influence option with Beau (2.5yo). I’ll share my experience.

Trying to control Beau is stressful. He’s not one to do what he’s told unless he wants to. A trait I want to nurture…

Tasks take longer (at first).

I move at his pace, I explain why we are doing something; the benefits for him, the benefits for the family.

The impact on our relationship?

Sunday night, after bathtime, unprompted, Beau told me, “I love you Daddy”. It was the first time. He’s not one to throw affection around willy nilly. He jumped on me, gave me the biggest cuddle and kissed my face.

In that moment, I knew it was a fruit of the extra time, effort and respect I had been showing him lately. The additional time to do each task is worth it. Nothing is more fulfilling than showing my kids the same respect I show other adults.

It’s not always been this way. Parenting is a journey of progress and self improvement.

Disagree? Agree? Got a comment? Drop an email (chris@fatherfitpt.com). I love a good parenting chat.

This week’s dad joke

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Thanks for reading!

Want to work with me?

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