“Me” time should rejuvenate you. 

Your current ‘me time’ is destroying you and draining the quality from family time.

Nobody:

 “I’m really pleased I stayed up an extra hour catching up on posts on Instagram.”

Staying up late gives you more ‘me’ time. 

The desperate need for ‘me time’ is triggered by mental fatigue.

Here's the problem. Clawing back ‘me time’ late at night is adding to the fatigue. 

Give yourself the opportunity to recover.

How do you do that?

Sleep.

High quality sleep is a catalyst for high quality family time. You'll have energy and more mental clarity. It leads into an upward spiral of health promoting habits.

On the contrary, poor quality sleep puts you in a negative physiological spiral. A spiral that leaves you hunting down cheap dopamine hits (caffeine, doom-scrolling, screens, porn, junk food etc.). 

You’re left with low energy and a dull perspective of the world.

Sleep. Gives. Life. Colour.

The reality is, having young kids means less ‘me time’. 

Want to prioritise health? 

Accept your new normal.

You do have ‘me time’, you just need to identify it. Commuting. Working. Lunch breaks. Walking home from school or nursery drop off. Cooking. Nap time. Training. Runs. Toilet (we all take an extra 5 minutes…). 

You don’t enjoy it, or view it as ‘me’ time because of how you spend that time. 

Mindlessly scrolling social media. Playing a dopamine pumping game, like Candy Crush. 

Take control. 

Read a book. Listen to a podcast. Choose the content you consume.

Your mind grows or deteriorates on the information you expose it to. 

Long form content (articles, podcasts, deep dives into topics) educate you, challenge your perspectives and lead to personal growth.

Choose depth in your free time. You’ll have better feelings of self worth, and you’ll desire sleep, over bedtime-procrastination.

“But Chris, I need time to de-stress”...

My friend, you need to increase your capacity to handle stress. 

I’m with you.

Increasing your capacity to handle stress requires sleep. 

Handling stress requires mental energy. 

Sleep rejuvenates your mental energy tank.

I’ll explain.

The key for mental energy lies with a molecule called Adenosine. Adenosine is an essential molecule in many biochemical processes within our metabolism. It plays an integral role in the initiation of sleep.

Every hour awake, our adenosine levels increase. The build up happens in The Reticular Activating System (RAS). An area in the brain promoting arousal.

Our RAS system also manages our ability to focus, and our fight or flight response. 

It’s part of the complex neural system managing our emotions, our reactions in high emotional events. Like meltdowns or meal refusals.

Here’s the Adenosine plot twist.

Adenosine is an inhibitory molecule. The higher our adenosine levels, the more tired we are…the less effective our Reticular Activating System (RAS) is. 

Lower levels of focus.

Lower levels of mental energy.

Lower ability to manage our fight or flight response.

This knowledge is power.

How do we remove Adenosine from our RAS?

Sleep.

High quality sleep.

Real talk. As parents, we are on the back foot. Sleep is never a guarantee. Midnight wakes need our attention. Little ones jump in our bed at ungodly hours.

BUT.

Giving yourself the opportunity for high quality sleep turbocharges your body’s adenosine clearing capacity.

In turn, it increases your capacity to manage meltdowns, emotions (yours as well as little ones) and replenishes your mental energy.

Life has a dull lens with less sleep. 

More sleep makes play with little ones more enjoyable.

Play is a magical pastime. 

Play is linked with positive wellbeing and life satisfaction. That’s the research in adults…

Playful adults do more enjoyable activities and have a more active way of life than less playful adults.

I love playing with my kids Beau (2.5) and Poppy (8mo). We build a strong bond. We connect on a deeper level. I listen to them. They listen to me. 

But, playing when I’m tired? Oh, the effort! Play doh when tired? I’m only thinking about the mess. Duplo when tired? I’m thinking we have far too much of it, let’s get rid.  It’s hard to focus in the moment.

That’s a sad fact that hurts me to write. It’s also why I always (most of the time) prioritise sleep.

We are (supposed to be) more emotionally stable versions of children. 

We need the same physiological processes (sleep and play) to maintain a positive mood, positive sense of self and positive self-esteem.

Give me a well rested kiddo over a half-rested one.

Let me be a well rested dad compared to a half-rested dad.

Prioritising bedtime leads to more energy, higher quality family time, less emotional reactions.

You become a healthier role model.

It’s easier to make healthy choices.

You have more capacity to manage stress.

Here’s what to do.

Set up a good bedtime routine.

It starts in the morning.

Bright light exposure resets the circadian rhythm. 

It launches a cascade of metabolic reactions that promote positive wellbeing, energy production and sets the timer to fall asleep that evening.

Drink your wonderful caffeinated elixir of life (coffee), or other, less exciting, caffeinated drinks (tea, green tea, diet drinks), pre midday. 

Caffeine blocks adenosine receptors, preventing the physiological effects from adenosine accumulating in the RAS. Great for late night driving. Terrible day to day.

Here’s the big change.

When the kids go down, you start your wind down routine.

Replace Netflix and social media scrolling with reading, journaling, sitting with your thoughts or conversations with your partner. Try these conversation starters.

Go to bed at a reasonable time. Aim for pre-10.00pm. If it’s horrifying to target that right now, try an hour earlier than your current time. Progress over perfection. Next week, try an hour earlier, again.

Another benefit of early bedtimes? Less late night snacking. More sleep reduces leptin, a hormone that increases appetite.

There you have it. Now you know the power of good sleep, time to rejuvenate your life!

If you want more support and accountability, consider The Father Fit Community, or let’s talk about 1-1 coaching. Drop me an e-mail (chris@fatherfitpt.com) or drop me a DM on Instagram.